Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
