it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
