I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
