I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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