I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
