My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
