i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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