Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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