fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
