4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
