Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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