love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
