Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
