she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
