maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
