margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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