My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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