Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
