You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
