so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
