Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
