I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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