I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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