Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
