She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
