how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
This house was built for laser tag.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
