Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Randomize
