do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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