my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
