I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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