Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
