brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
one two three fourrrrnication!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
