There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize