I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
