we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
