This girl is more easily done than said...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize