i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
