Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
