did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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