Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
