PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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