I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just threw up on my dentist
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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