Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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