He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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