I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
