I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
