If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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