OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize