I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
