some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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