Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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