hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
