I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
