I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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