R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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