I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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