I hate your face
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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