Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
