My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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