I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
