just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
