You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
