I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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