too bad you live with your parents still
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
