I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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