so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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