I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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