i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize