I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
