I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
